parents point of view to a son:

my son is in KK now studying his A-levels. i wonder what is he doing now?? is he studying hard?? or wasting his precious time there?? I wonder if he is free now?? can i call him now?? better not. later i might disturb him. hmmm.. did he eat his breakfast?? as far as i know, he said he ate oats for breakfast. will that be enough?? of he will get hungry later.. had he ate lunch?? or he will skip it?? this is bad for his health.. does he knows that?? he should have. he is getting thin every time he got home. is he eating less and less everyday?? or he don't have enough pocket money to spend?? always i ask he will say enough.. really enough or he is just reducing my worries.

i wonder what does he do in his free time there. does he study?? or go out with his friends?? will he mix with the wrong company?? is he smoking?? doing drugs?? no no no no no.. never.. i know he won't do that. i have brought him up well. he knows how to think and act. So what does he do?? most probability he will just sleep.. haha.. my son.. or maybe watch tv... hehe.. or maybe study?? hmm.. maybe also text messaging his friends. oh no.. maybe he is dating someone now... haiyo.. waste money.. he and his brother really cannot compare.

hmm.. i will call him tonight. anything to tell him?? oh.. tell him his aunt and uncle from US is coming over.. tell him also there is a camp in my school. tell him about the car hitting the pole. oh ya..must tell him to look out for uni's through the Internet. but his answers are always short... always a one word respond.. sigh.. will he tell me about his school?? hmm.. i don't think so... he never say much about his life there unless ask.. don't know why..

sigh.. i wonder weather he know i am worried about him here. he seems to be person lack of planing and takes things easily. does he knows that the world out there is more harder than he thinks?? does he knows that money don;t come in easily?? does he knows that i love him very much?? does he knows that i am here no matter what happens to help him??

he always makes me wonder what is he doing there?? the house seems quiet without him. but i know he will be working hard there. i can't say but i just know...

love you!!

ARGH!!!!.....

ARGH!!!!!! sigh... what a bad timming...
why am i always stuck in between two groups of humans!!!!! why? Why? WHY!!!!!!
I HATE THIS TYPE OF DECISION MAKING STUFF!!!! I DUN WAN TO BE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE!!! CAN'T THINGS COME ONE BY ONE AND NOT ALL TOGETHER AT ONCE!!! WHY!! WHY!! WHY!!!!!
i think i just made a number of people angry n dissapointed at me again!!! whats worst is they are all my old friends.. why always me?? why am i always the one that always crash plans... i dislike myself for this!!!! WHY!!!! is not the 1st time.. i have made people dissapointed with me for some number of times already... is it because i don't know how to say NO?? ARGH!!!!.. is not i dun want to say NO.. is I CAN'T SAY NO!!!!! WHY ALWAYS MAKE ME DO THIS!!!! sigh............

education???

in 3 days time trials exams will begin.. just that when everyone is stress up, people tend to change from good to bad, funny to serious, normal to weired, and many many more.. my body has been aching lately due to unknown reasons.. i really really wish i have an i-desire at home now.. it will be wonderful.. haha

recently my friend sent me a short message through the short-message-system. Surprising that she said : "i think i failed my physics... what should i do.. really feel like crying.."
i was stunned.. she never fail physics before, i mean she LOVE physics.. anyway.. so as a friend that always supported her.. i told her that its ok to fail n stuff.. then her second message came in.. part of it which shock me very much : "she(my friend's mum) said i(my friend) disgraced ppl who are proud of me.. i feel ashamed"

that was harsh... way too harsh to tell a daughter that you should not fail your test. after all its just the FIRST TIME that she fail her test.. for me.. its a direct knock out of self confidence in life and as a daugther(or son) its going to hurt so much that they will lost some if not most of their self confidence with that kind of words(lucky my parents are not this kind or a better say i hope they are not this kind). i don't know whether i can comment on this issue but still why some people today think that passing exams can secure a good living tomorrow?? maybe that's how they express their care towards children about the importance of education. But to that extend??that's hard. i know i cannot say i know how parents feel as i am not one yet. but i still don't agree on how society deal's with this today.

do education plays a vital role in the future?? can we live without education?? personally i say education is important to improve one's state of living and reach success of life. but its not that vital in the wild society we are in. self confidence, brave to venture, hardworking, and good moral values should be enough to take us further to another step. maybe is hard but if there is a will there is away. but sadly society today thinks that education as in scoring straight A's or passing exams year after year and you will be educated. haha.. how i wish life is so simple.

as for me now.. i say i am stuck with education to go after my ambitions and my dreams. to be what i want to be means i have to get a good foundation in my studies. So.. for me studying is important.. hehe.. after all who today will want a husband that is not educated rite?? hahaha.. as for now.. pray hard study smart everyone. all the best in your trials.

p/s: I are not perfect

april fool...

april fool just past... i my one was bored... haha.. reading the green book.. i suspect someone put sleeping powder between the pages.... once i open it.. i straight hit the table with my eyes close.. sigh.. maybe that was an april fool joke from someone... sigh... happy april fool everyone!!!

1st quater!!

yeah.. its the end of the 1st quarter of 2007.. time flies huh?? sad.. anyway to summarise things up..
warning: might be a bit boring n its quite long..
before i start.. here is a quote(again) : map your future, only with pencil (bon jovi)

January
arrive back to KK on the 1st of JJanuary and got myself busy with EB stuff.. hehe.. so erm.. what have i done in the first month: drank alcohol on new year's day.. was an experience thou.. officially started working as a EB vice president, then in school went to promote EB on the 2nd day of school. meet all the year ones and then running around telling year ones to nominate themselves.. interview 10 people. cross 6 names. got shouted in the face for 15 long minutes, was down for a few days after that. got AS results, not happy with results, drop physics, went to leadership camp in Kundasang, threatend candidates that will remove the light bulb if they don't sleep.. score of the month 6 out of 10

February
skip my 1st school event, Sports day.. hehe.. was proud of that.. haha.. Bro left to Aus.. busy with EB fix n free campaign.. then lots of EB stuff my boss burn his feet(2nd degree) so got to take over lucky got another vice president.. phew.. election day... progress test, got a zero in stats for 1st time(hope is the last) erm.. lots of eb stuff, oh ya.. Chinese new year holidays!! back in SDK!!!! wonderful week!!! manage to chat with my best friend in Canada!!! haha.. then.. swearing in ceremony!! gain weight. score of the month 8 out of 10

March
step down from eb, then join basketball competition got 'fried' busy with Uni stuff which is still quite busy, got a blood test, apply for this Uni, spy on that Uni... more badminton games, EB bbq dinner, a steamboat dinner, went to Pizzaria for Chap Goh Meh eve dinner(14th day of cny) went for Japanese food on chap goh meh. Red packet collection not as good as last year. erm.. weekly test on chemistry, bio test.. more blogging, got stuck between many things, donated my blood, realised that my blood is A +ve...help out in the donation, erm... got pressured by teachers.. trials in 1 and a half weeks time.. read lots of RD's.. nearly lost temper a few times due to unknown reasons.. lost weight. score of the month 7 out of 10.

nicknames collected this 3 months :
light-bulb remover,
fierce eb vice president,
vege(something that sound like tat),
almaranth ng,
geranyl ng,
wen ki,

things i need to improve:
learn how to deliver my points more clearly,
think of consequences when saying or doing something.
balance my time better,
make good decisions accurately and fast.

so.. did i achieve my plans for this 3 months?? well.. i give it a 6 out of 10.. during this 3 months there is lots of things that i do without plan and thing i plan to do but didn't do.. i felt bad that i didn't talk as much to my friends during those 1st 2 months due to my busy-ness in the election. thou i made more friends(more than i expected) but still i am more to my own old friends.. i have also reduce the frequency of replying mails to my other friends due to lack of time and the un-cooperativeness of the IT center's computers.. sad.. those nicknames is also not in plan..

i also been 'breath-big-air'(thau tai hei) lately.. jus feeling very 'fan' on life.. seriously lots of things seems to go wrong.. sad.. but still there is good stuff all over the place.. hehe.. have been crapping lots lately till the extend that i also don't know weather things that i say is the thing i really want to say. yupp.. like what i use to do.. crap.

one more thing.. i got a feeling that time has now being flying too fast. I have just settle down with life here.. a little too long time take to settle down but in another 3 months i will be leaving here. And of course I am NOT HAPPY with that. why?? anyway i am going to make the best of everything in this 3 months time..

so at the end of the day. map your furure, only with pencil and an erasser next to you.
pray hard study smart everyone!!!

selective advantage...

just finish an 110 minutes long bio test paper... here is something related to this test.
dinner the night before bio test...

em: pigs are smart.(staring at the 'siu yuk' at the end of her chopstick) their fat and meat are in layers.

me: hmmm...(enjoying my rice.. looking at her struggeling to remove layers of fat from her 'siu yuk')

em: why cant they be just one thick layer of fat and one thick layer of meat and the skin??

me: erm.. maybe long ago there is pigs which have a single layer of fat and a single layer of meat. but humans kill them all as food. so species of pigs with single layer of fat n meat has selective disadvantage. When all the pigs with single layer of fat and single layer of meat being kill, there will only reminder those with alternate layers of fat and meat which is a selective advantage during that time. When humans discover everything later, the species with single layer of fat and single layer of meat has already extinct. reminder those with alternate layers of fat and meat. and the species with alternate layers of fat and meat is able to reach maturation age to reproduce... that's why now pigs all have multiple layers of fat n meat....

em: oOoooKKkkkkAAaaaaaYyyyyyy.............(-.-!!!)

this are symptoms of excessive bio disorder.... hmmm.. haha

p/s feeling better this few days.. :)

10 words that describe my life now :

1. messy
2. drain
3. overloaded
4. irritating
5. unplaned
6. undecisive
7. tired
8. static
9. blank
10. priceless

quote of the day: what dosn't kill will only make you stronger.