changi airport

6 weeks!

the last 6 weeks was a cocktail of feelings. to put it into a word, best thing ever in 3 years. throughout 3 years, i never understand the feeling of going home, being home and leaving home. throughout 3 years, i was never being pampered, being spoilt, and being treated like a high school kid. and for 3 years, i never had a proper holidays. this 6 weeks was spend beyond well, in which i manage to plan and did everything i insisted to do.

flying back from adelaide to penang

along the way back was filled with excitement, and the great warm feeling of home coming. the feeling of looking forward to seeing mum and dad, cousins, aunts, uncle and just the feeling of home. good food, great weather, wonderful people all atributing to the melting pot of culture in malaysia. which pretty much includes, stupid drivers, traffic jam, rude people and people jumping queue. for some reason, 3 years in adelaide has made me a much nicer person for malaysia. nevertheless, the feeling of being home is one of the greatest feeling ever. i was practically over the moon! AND i am not even home yet! i was just spending nights at penang, my home town. nevertheless, it was one of the greatest feeling ever.

penang to sandakan

HOME! to summarize up, it was in the previous 2 post. MUM! greatest person ever!! being at HOME(must emphasize) for 2 weeks, was pretty much the most relaxing time ever in 2010 and a great start for 2011. i had the whole house to myself! anyway, throughout the 2 weeks, apart from just helping mum around the house, i pretty much let mum being mum around me. i got a feeling she is enjoying her 'mum-moments' when im around. hmmm.. im missing her already >.<

Sandakan-KL-Penang

awesomely, i planed this trip myself! with my own earned money =) something that i wanted to do for a very long time but don't have the time. for this short trip. i was sincerely touch for the generosity of the people that is willing to house me for the few nights in KL. no words can describe their wonderful hearts and wonderful home. it almost makes you feel like staying there forever. KL was a great place. a city where there is no night, and no day. i will forever remember those that came to catch up with me and took me around the places. one of this trip main objectives is, i was trying to prove, malaysia isn't exactly a dangerous place like what most of the people believe. my parents wasn't that keen on me going myself to places like KL, while i personally believe in this world, not everyone on the street is bad. in fact i still believe there are kind hearted people out there. and im sure if everyone takes proper steps and precautions, every holiday trips will be a great one.

after KL, it was 2 days in penang. special thanks to cousin ado that became the main mode of my transport in her little car. penang will be so different without you there. of course, i was really grateful to my uncle and aunt that let me bunk in their house (again) for 2 days. truthfully, i kinda feel bad for doing that. its like checking in and out of their house =( which is bad... real bad >.<>

Penang -sdk

this part of the trip, i guess it kinda change how i see things a bit. during this time, news came that grand dad was very sick. it was pretty shocking to hear that because i just saw him 2 days ago. it kinda came knocking that, that time i see him might be the last time i see him (he is still going pretty well at the moment). nevertheless, it was a sense of lost, helpless and sad till the extend, it kinda help to prepare for the worst. the fact that i was not there, and only hear news from my parents make things worst. few days after, surprisingly grand dad found out he manage to won some money through his lottery numbers and that made him happy and got well straight away! talk about the benefits of lottery to mankind! how shall i describe grand dad. hmm.. put it in simple terms.. everyday is a celebration for him. days in sandakan was equally filled with excitement as well as sadness. it was a sudden realization that 'i wonder when will be the next time i set foot again in sandakan?) maybe 1 year? or 2? hopefully there will be once in a 5 years period i hope? with a heavy heart, i left sandakan, towards penang once again

Penang - adelaide

final week in malaysia! how badly i wish it could be extended. a week where i wish i could be split into 2, maybe 3 so i can spend the extremely valuable time with everyone. it is the sense that i the next time i come back.. hopefully will be for some good news and not something sad. given the previous lost of someone that i didn't really spend time much with, i wanted to spend time with everyone. there is this feeling that, celebrating CNY in penang.. and in sandakan is very different. how i wish i could be in sandakan, as well as penang at the same time. like its said above, home is always the best place. towards the end of the trip, the sense of heading back to adelaide was kinda depressing, back to work, studies, and final year~ i guess i should be excited that this would be my last year studying after 19 years of facing books, homework and exams.

throughout the 6 weeks, many have touch my heart, and i am extremely grateful to rekindle friendships that have long became stagnant. not to mention spending time with dear mum and dad, as well as dear cousin sis that insisted i should be back this trip. seeing her almost one third of my trip.. should be able to repay all the debts of the previous 3 years right? also spending time with my only grandparents left, and most of all, spending time for myself. to re-charge, and time to just relax and do nothing. im my mind, it is always friends and family that made the whole me. and in this trip i hope i could reinforce this value in myself.

to all! that has cross path with me this trip, all that provide roof for me, all, that feed me with nutritious food, spend precious time for me, and not metioning all other tiny bits, driving me around, buying me stuff, making me little figures(chicken little) and all! i thank you. thanks for being around for me, and i really really appreciate all of you. may i be given the chance in the future to repay all your kindness in the near or far future. words will never be enough to say how i feel now.

in one hour's time, i'll be airborn, leaving singapore, to the land down under. to those that are finishing up final years, lets work hard together and graduate. to those that are working.. all my very best to you, and may great opportunities come knocking on your door. and for the one, that is heading to NZ to study and begin your new chapter of life, all my best wishes to you. may the new life you are having there will be great! if not the greatest time in your life. wishing you smooth journey and may you be bless with all the great things in life!

(unedited) laptop dying soon.. >.<

goodbye malaysia, and hello adelaide

singing for the deaf.

have you ever wonder how the less capable enjoy what most of us do? for example the deaf enjoy the rhythm and base of dynamite by taio cruz without turning the base volume so loud that u can feel your heart vibrate with it? or some love songs by taylor swift?

or have you ever thought of doing something you like that would change the world? something small, but people world wide would enjoy?? thats what a year 2 teacher did. at the age of 22, she sang for the deaf. and with the help of the internet, she helped the deaf around the world to enjoy what most of us take for granted everyday.

check this link out and you will understand what i am saying =)

sign language opens music world to deaf citizens -ABC news

on a personal note: it all began when i was with someone. this special someone was deaf and have to talk through a interpreter with AUSLAN (australian sign language). i am sure, that most of us have been in a situation where we do not understand what others are saying(including where they are talking bad about you right in front of your face without u knowing it). It was a pretty awkward moment, especially they are moving their hands and arms all around them right in front of you and you don't understand a tiny bit of it. at some point. it made me felt pretty helpless, that although i am suppose to help him, but i can't understand what he's trying to say without the help of the interpreter. it made me wonder, could he enjoy the wonderful sounds of the world? now i know, there are people out there who cares =) how about you? do you care?

also posted at rushi's blogspot.

3 years..

home!

after 3 long year, i am finally back at where i grew up. gosh.. i was surprise how things have change.. just to begin with, there is an flight going to KL at 930 AT NIGHT from sandakan airport, new highways, way better roads and new houses and shops!! just spending the 1st ride from the airport back to home made me excited to go out tomorrow morning to look at how sandakan has turn into under the bright sun

the biggest difference i must say is my house... the thing is, there is nothing much new in the house.. same furniture, same chairs, same tv, table and even the same fish (which has grown way bigger than when i left it) BUT.. i kinda felt everything has shrunk.. the rack has gone shorter, table and chairs seems to be smaller, door handles are lower, even the tv is smaller. it kinda makes me felt like a giant walking in the house. well, there are scientific evidence that says we will still grow till our mid twenties, but, i don't think i would have enlarge that much in 3 years right? anyhow, it's great to be back

of course, getting home is the great, but not exactly the best part. the best part is, MUM actually CLEAN MY ROOM FOR ME!!! WITHOUT ASKING ME FOR HELP!!!! after traveling for the whole day, once we reach home, mum being mum, pretty much stuff me with food and milo, then she went up and wipe my room with being abandon for about 1 years, change the bed sheet which being abandon for about 1 year... and when went up to my room planing to change the sheets... to my utter supprise.. everything is clean and dust free!!! *awwwww* i don't usually do this much.. but, MUM, ur the best!!! =) *sniff sniff* now i feel so bad.. for not helping her T.T

*sniff* anyway.. *sniff*

the journey back to malaysia this time has brought a new meaning of life. for the 1st time in 3 years, i was looking forward to be home. for the 1st time in 3 years i am excited to board the plane to get home, and in 3 years... i actually reach home. arriving back to my home town, visiting many relatives, and of course in an attempt to put on weight (which had failed) made me realize what 3 years can do. the frail became more frail, those that was fit and healthy 3 years ago is no longer that state. those that were just babies are now all big and grown up, and those that are non existent 3 years ago is now such a adorable baby (isabella, you really adorable ^^) in 3 years, the whole world back home has change. i wonder what other new changes have occur that yet to be discover tomorrow.

dear grandma is.. in a better way of describing, being cute.. due to her condition, she would repeat and repeat the same question, and of course, i would answer them. and sometimes the things you say, to be in all seriousness, its pretty funny.. and cute. not that i am making fun of things here, but your concern and selflessness in this situation just make things lights up. in fact, it is a good way to practice my dialect with you grandma =) while grandpa, is getting weaker but, still going pretty good for his age. i will be looking forward to see both of you during the chinese new year =)

2 months! that all i have to be back home.. it seems to be pretty long.. but at this very moment.. i have a feeling i am going to leave this place i call home with a really really very heavy heart....

THANKS MUM!! YOU ARE THE GREATEST!!! =) =) =) *sniff*

currently listening to: dynamite by taio cruz

its been ages since i last updated my blog site. can't even remember what was my last post and heaps that happen since the last post which when i check was... in.... may

recent updates: just completed my yearly customary camp. a 3 days 2 nights camp, which i was the president =) joining and organizing this camp always reminded me of all the camps i 1st join since primary school till this very day. and i have a feeling this will be my last camp, at lease for my studying life. and i didn't expect in this last final camp, i would be the camp president. which was pretty cool, apart from all the work and organizing and all. i guess like from every camp, i would try and learn and reflect from it after the camp to hopefully improve myself to be a better person. and the reflecting one should hopefully be in the next post.

apart from that: this year isn't a real smooth sailing for me in regarding of dealing with human relationships. is it really that hard to understand me? i use to think im a very very simple minded person with very little needs. need an out of body experience to look at myself soon.. any suggestions? magic mushrooms anyone?? or maybe some speed? =P many people say people come and go from your life, and i guess it does really happen to everyone. maybe im not offering enough, or my offers are not good enough or maybe im just not good enough.. recovering from it takes way longer than i expected. still recovering from it thou, but i guess i will make it.

Uni life!! uni is a blessing and curse at a same time.. with assignments pilling up but learning new things everyday, i wonder, how long i need to stay in this unstable psychological state of mind. going to push the body to new limits for myself soon! i am going to make it!! woohoo~~ as for working, working 2 part time jobs are now almost like a routine for me, which is good in some ways i guess. good to know that i could balance my time better than before now.

Blogging.. there is this stupid pesky comment generator trying to advertise their stupid sliming pills, penis enlarger, escort services and all the other crap that i don't need bugging this site.. how the hell can i stop them? they are getting more and more irritating.. any ideas anyone??

anything else?? i guess not. updates complete.

stage director

"wenqi, come join us in cultural concert committee please"

"no. i don't want to because i think i can't commit to this. but i promise i will help you guys out"

approximately 10 months ago, the idea of organizing a concert was born. personally, i have full doubt and the only thing i was thinking is, this is suicide! Why are you guys doing this? Just because someone say we should do one, doesn't mean we have to! nevertheless, we all hang in there, with uncertainty at the back of our mind"

"Yes! at last the script is done"

meeting in the library, 4 of us, sit together and fix the script, how the play runs and all. the themes, the lights, curtains, props and all. at the back of my mind, i kept thinking, are we sure we are doing this? but what is started must be finish, i hang on. from this point in time, everyone has started their parts. getting the materials, costumes, getting the dances and all. meetings after meetings, calls after calls. at this point in time, i told myself, its alright, just do what you can, and leave the rest to the others.. trust them, like you trust yourself.

"alright.. here what i think is, a shadow scene.. and here.. is a good vs evil scene... so its a red and white lighting"

"wow, alright, sounds good"

imagining it in my head, the stage and all, i throw my imagination drama to everyone. with ideas bouncing back n forth, arguments get heated up, complains goes all the way i'm surprise that we all still stick together. looking back at everything, it seems like most of my ideas are put into the final product, making it almost my own play.

"sigh"

"hahaha, its alright wenqi, don't worry too much about it"

every weekend right down in the back of the building, in the confined space, we held our practice rounds, one getting better than another, improvements happens, changes made, tempered flared, disappointments shown. again and again we go through everything with every possible methods tried. warm up sessions, briefings and never ending explanation. every practice, we counted the days, to the big event. the concert.

"okay, next week we will be at the hall"

1st rehearsal was good and bad in some ways. our flaws of practice shown brighter than the sun on a summer day and disappointment again swept through everyone. changes and planing were made again and again, non which able to solve the problem. we did what we can on that day, with plans and action to fix the problems arise on the day. we needed a leader. a person that was able to call the shots.. and we needed one fast.

"how was today's rehearsal?"

"i also don't know what to say"

on the night before the day, right after work, final preparation were done. some involve a lot of deep thoughts. at this night, there are many questions arise. questioning my effort towards the concert, the big day. whether the things i did was good enough. whether things i did was right? this was the turning point, when a friend decided to reminded me "its not a good time blaming now, better focus on ur ideas".

"today i am going to be selfish"

today is one of the days i do not want to repeat ever again throughout the rest of my life. it is not the proudest moment in my life.. that 15 minutes of it was in fact, not something i like to do. nevertheless what's done was done. in my heart, i ask... what have i done? you are nobody here! you have no rights to do that and its a disgrace of myself doing what i have just done. thinking back of that, i shouldn't have took that method in which i regretted it much.

"you are the stage director, you have to call it!"

i cursed as that phrase rang in mind over and over again. not me i said, not me! i am not the director! i am nobody! i told myself silently. it hit right hard enough to awaken me to the things i am in. being a guy that had no fix positions suddenly being thrown into a high position overnight, it is not a pleasant thing to do. making calls with minimal time of thinking, no time to consult others, under the pressure of different parties, i doubt myself whether i could make it out of the hall alive.

"tonight is the night. the stage is all yours"

as the night proceed, i was shocked again and again with awe and amazement. till a point i myself wondered, whether i was watching a group of youth performing or a group of professional actors and actress on stage having their best time in their life. it was beyond words to describe everything. at the very end, it was a success.

"thank you!"

proud through out? yea a little. regrets through out? yes. plenty. regretted that i couldn't deliver what i said i could. i regretted things i said has brought up conflicts. regretted things i've done had cause strain in relationships among people. and the thing i most regretted is i wasn't able to get to know everyone in the group. it is uncalled for.

thoughts

"holding onto anger is like grasping hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you are the one who gets burn" -buddha-

i need to get this out somewhere. seriously do.

i personally am never a person that use this 4 letter word h-a-t-e. i never like my friends use it either. i find this word is a word that carries great power and grave consequences. its a word full of negative energy and carries a meaning of extreme dislike and unwanted in any given condition the word is applied. from my own point of view, its very hard to get me to actually hate something. this is most probably due to me understanding the reasons why i hate something, or why i dislike something. for example, i don't like eggplant because of the texture of the eggplant once it is cook. i respect people that love and adore them, but i still don't like them. i have no reason to hate an eggplant, because it is bad for me right?

"A precious liquid, a poison dearer than that of the Borgias - because it is made from our blood, our health, our sleep, and two-thirds of our love - we must be stingy with it." ~Charles Baudelaire, "Advice to Young Writers," 1867

recently, for some reason, a single hate thought keep creeping into my mind. a thought that is very disturbing for me, for some reason keeps repeating itself again and again, and every time it happens, it grows. given the fact that i am actually aware of this hatred thoughts, i find it very disturbing to myself and will most probably be to many others as well if i share this with them. but as i were about to try to understand the problem, it just seems to get worst. i cannot pin point a reason for the thought to come through. it is just something that actually happened, that i assumed it happened with a reason but i do not know, which makes me very hateful to it.

"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them." ~Charles Caleb Colton

it horrible to actually have that thought (thank god its not everyday and every minute) but, the point is, i cannot figure out the reason of it! its almost driving me crazy. what actually keeps me in line now is basically me being aware that it is a thought, and i am able to control it (if u have a better word) and slowly push it away. but, i guess, it is just like swiping the dust under a carpet and hope it will magically disappear. its actually tiring figuring out the reasons for this disturbing thought, and at the end of the day, i gain nothing from it. but it creeps into the wandering mind, like a weeds growing in an unattended garden, sucking up all the nutrient and manifesting throught the garden patch, killing all the beautiful flowers.

"Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat". ~Henry Emerson Fosdick

as for now, i guess i will have to keep looking for the reason for it.

"I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him." ~Booker T. Washington

the walking orange~

i cannot admit, life is getting great recently. projects by projects piling up which all im looking forward to. volunteer to the special olympics, a concert to organize, and, a trip to the rural to have podiatry experience! and one camp to organize as well depending on my commitments nearer to the time. Yet i feel relax and not too much on my plate.

1 quarter of 2010 has already gone by in a blink of an eye.

january:

january was a pretty hectic and tiring. good news did come through this month. moving into a new house was the grand opening of 2010. we took about 1 week to pack, move and unpack our whole house. a pretty good achievement i would say. like most people, we throw lots away, and bought new stuff for the house. the new house, is a double story town house with, rooms on 1st floor and the rest down. best part of it, the new house now actually has a living room, dining and a kitchen! feels homey now compared to the last. we have make effort to keep the house in a clean and un-messy condition, and up to today, i say we are doing a good job! apart from the house, i was tearing my hair out studying for my pharmacology exams. it wasn't something i would want to repeat. pretty sad times. good news, i officially comfirm my dates on going home! just to penang thou, its pretty sad that i can't get back to my home 'home' in sabah. but, at lease i know im going home

febuary.

febuary begun with a full blast of studying, being home alone, and more studying. it was fun times when i was alone. right after my paper, i flew home to penang. it was fun times being able to meet up with my cousins on the island. i was suprise how much he grew, no more head butting or biting anymore.. *sigh* miss those times.. =P (sorry Am T, but u really did =P). manage to catch up with granpa n grandma, and all other uncles and aunties, met a new cousin from the states, number of visit to the hospitals, numbers of food hunting trips, plates of hawker food, car rides and some quick shopping. and a plane flight back to adelaide. i alway enjoy traveling alone and had great time spending waiting at the airport. i must mention, i had the most expensive jawa mee and teh tarik in my whole life... RM21.50 for both of that thing =.= oh well. appart from that, short trip to whyalla!!! its a good break especially when the break involve a cut from the world of technology and traffic and all the other city stuff. and back with classes and all

march

March flew by pretty quickly. Uni work picked up and i tried to get control of my life better. March is the month i guess where i decided to ground both of my feet down on to the ground with the mind to be a better person than last year. its working well i guess. i've spend less time going out spending money, and more time doing stuff i am suppose to do. march i guess is a month on lots of mental work compare to the 1st 2 months. lots of things going through the mind, while the body just work mechanically, wakes up, uni, work, etc etc.. but everything turns out well now i guess. all's good for the year ahead!! in fact march also marks the date that grandma is away for 1 year already.. 1 year do really float by quickly..

looking forward to what the next 3 quarters is going to bring me now =)