EB

Graduation ceremony is over!!! haha.. there fore i can officially put down my badge where has been hanging on my pocket for the 2 months.. well thats a relief..
joining this EB(election board) really make my eyes open on lots of complicated stuff.. politics, red tapes, people etc etc.. but also open my eyes on people's kindness.. funniness and of coz the tru self of everyone.... funny that people are weired here... erm.. complicated to be exact..

throught out this two months.. many people i met.. 14 EB high coms, 60+ norminies, 49 candidates, many more year 1 EB members, staff i never talk to and of coz students i never know exist. but then its happy for me to discover the colours of life once again to colour up my dull n pale life here... most thanks goes to of coz the 14 EB high coms especially CC and the other vice president Yi Sing.. both of them really takes good care of me and care a lot for everyone.. i really salute them.. somethimes making me feel bad as they give me a sence that they are my older bro and other sis... haha.. but still i really really enjoy working with them very much.. their support and encouragement has made me a stronger and better person this time.

other high coms like adeline, melissa, chua, siang jen, dd, haz, hui ying, norman, chee hoe, silvya,.. my gratest gratitude goes to you.. i really enjoy working with few of the most capable people in this small institute of porpulation about 500.. though only 2 months.. time is not a limiting factor for me to learn form you guys about small small matters of life. i might not learn much leadership skills from you guys thou as i dare say i am a good leader myself.. but then, being a successful person dosn't mean he or she must be a leader also... afterall even a good leader must know and handle small matter of life in order to be a good leader where i think i am bad in this.. so thanks again to you people.. i don't really know how or what to say but only my inner feelings can describe what i feel now.. but once again you all are very capable people and i will now and always respect you all.. thanks for everything

one more person is jason. thou we dont talk anymore but i still wan to thank you for your 15 minutes that day. it really hurts me alot thinking about it mentally and spiritually.. but whats more important is that you really woke me up from my own world to see things is a more serious way and always think of consequences of all action.. i will always keep that in mind. thanks for that. you will be always respected by me as one of the most brave person in realizing your dreams and dare to fight for the truth.. there are many more things that you are better than me and i dare to admit them to you. the truth hurts it alwasy do... but still its the truth. thanks for the morning call... i dont know weather i still got the chance to thank yor personally but thanks afterall...

not forgetting the year 1 EB where you guys help alot through the whole precess.. i cant really remember all your names but i think i can still recognize your faces.. i still remember the time when i started working as an year 1 EB as well.. i don't really understant the things EB face and must do.. so sometimes i don't like the jobs given to me.. i hope you guys didn feel the same thing as i do.. some of you gave me a good respond on being a year 2 EB.. thats good and i will support you. there is lots more you can and must learn too.. but anyway you year 1s also though me stuff like voicing out my points and kick away my shyness.. hehe.. thanks very much!!

thats all fro now.. there is lots i want to add and it will be endless.. till then...

packing

in kitchen

mum: nah u take this to KK n eat there larr.. (continue looking on other CNY goodies)
me: oh...
mum: nah take this butter cookies oso larr.. (looking through mooncakes in a mooncake box)
me: huh?? ok.. (thinking of dd calling me to brong back goodies for her...)
mum: this mooncakes u take oso n go kau tim it larr.. (putting mooncake box away and continue digging tru new year goodies)
me: huh?? moon cake?? can eat kah?? so geng oOO??(looking at 3 lian yung mooncakes stack up with eyes wide open...)
mum: can 1 lah.. haven't expire de.. (looking through more stuff there)
me: oklorr..
mum: u don't take me n ah pa also won't eat one... ( contributhing a bottle of pringles to the stack)
me: mmmm.... (thinking that the mooncakes with white spots all over the next time i come home)
mum: that one ( pointing to a brand new biscuit tin in the conner) i help u bring over when i go kk larr...
me: oOo... ( thinking hard how to put everything in to the bag)
mum: luckily u brought back the big green bag.. now can put more things...(continue looking for things to add to the stack)
me: yalorr.. ( had expected it before i got back... )
mum: yalor yalor.. u take the bottle of kacang outside oso larr..
me: wha!! you eat larr...
mum: i also cannot finish.. here got some more to refill.. u take the whole bottle larr..
me: i take the smaller one larr. the bottle you eat larr.. (i thought u say this kacang nice...)
dad walk in the kitchen
dad: nah.. take this kua chi also larr (pointing at a huge bag of sunflower seeds above the cuboard) take all go... let u slowly 'mok' kua chi there....
me: !!!!

p/s: mum ur the best =P

blog

...... i dun know wat to put this time.. hmmm...

ITS CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!! well.. now back in sandakan.. my house my home..
its just relaxing to think that its a holiday even there is lots to worry about in school.. but then its all rite to just put it aside for a while.. hehe

daily updates on cny.. have been visiting frens and frens and frens houses since the 1st day on chinese new year which falls on sunday.. and it seems that it will continue till tomorrow.. have been to jac, calix, pn loh, wong, pang, yinng, peter, jinyii and vianny's houses.. and of couse they came to mine as well.. although we tend to see each other in each other's houses.. but it seems that we wont feel bored.. and mafia seems to be the top game this year.. mayb not really suitable for cny as it contains killings but still quite fun to play especially with a group of friends.. hehe..

of coz that cards n mahjong, n lami oso is played all over n i manage to learn lami.. mayb can teach other ppl if i can get to complet sets of cards including 4 jokers or better known as kuai (ghost) haha.. thanks to vianny n pang n yinng to teach me this famous game this time.. hehe

its been a while that i find my both best friend especially leon.. wanted to call him this week but it seems that the timing is never right.. at least manage to chat with carol thanks to jinyii.. hehe.. somehow the feeling of guilt is there.. but i will make up to that asap.. hehe

mayb this is a bad time to blogg.. jus didn feel like doin in now.. hehe.. oh well.. keep u all updated tomolo then...

sad sad thing

i am blur i am blind
by the thoughts coming tru my mind
why can't life be easier like once be
and we can stay happy
like we use to be

i hate myself for being nice
why cant i me mean and fearce
like everyone else
is louder voice winner in the world
or the silent one will die unnotice
being nice is hard to be
people tend to step on me

i am sad, i am lost
in the world which is never nice
why, why i always ask?
no one can answer
no one can.

sepaking the truth is evil
speaking the truth is bad
all ears on false, the fake and the bad
the truth hurts thats the truth
but people seems love the bluff

i always think i always ponder
what the mess am in now
it makes me think it makes me wonder
how am i to safe myself now

sleepless nights lonely soul
what have i done
my mind say fine
enough is enough
the time has come to carry on

i need an ear
to hear me now
to share my feelings
and my lost thoughs too
but there is no one here
to be trusted
all said will be known
we use to say i trust you
but somehow it don't work
whose fault is it
whose wrong is that
mine you or someone else?

now i am down, asking
where is the people i need
still looking, still searching,
people here is not the one
i need you my friend
i need your ear
to get advice
and to share.

i got to go now..
where time is short
but like always
take care and good luck
in the things that you do
to the past, present and the future.

election board

3 week of school was a super not nice week.. got an verbal attack by some1 which i didn think might happen.. just a slip of tongue and the world come down... that time it really made me realise the badge i am wearing dont only weight about 500 grams... the responsibility that comes with this badge really weights more than i expected.. way more that enough to drain you out of your spirit mentally and physically and i learn it the hard way... jus a short sentence... just my point of view.. just that.. i got shouted at for like 15 minutes and that sounds like hell broke lose.. after that my mind was blank for rest the day.. and that person wanted me to give an public apology... i wasn't angry.. wasn't mad... wasn't hateful... jus the feeling of lost in this large world.. this time i really need some one to hear me out... i went home early that day and slept and thats the time my friend, jin yii call.. wow.. that was super nice of her.. hehe.. she call to share her prob with me.. and i grabe the chance to made her hear me out.. but not much effect but at least there is some1 i thrust now here right at the time.

thats where i made myself and tell my self to not trust any1 here anymore.. no more close friends... it hurts to think of it.. made me lose my concentration.. i hate to say it but some how its hard to be the person that make the decission. as a EB vice president, what i say will have a long term effect on the school and everyone. this is shown clearly that when we have to eliminate people, we are afraid we kick the wrong person out and keep the wrong person in.. this is when trouble rise..


last week end, (19-21 of jan) i joined a leadership camp as a sergant-at-arms. my job in camp was not easy i guess... i stay awake the whole day except for time to sleep jus in case anything wrong happen including workshops and the sharing moments by the old student councellors while others sleep.. i am the one running around for the members to be at a place at a certain time, i was the one to wake everyone up in the morning although i didn wan to wake up myself.. after thinking back.. i ask.. is there any1 that notice i did this all?? maybe there is maybe there isn't.. maybe this is what they call its ur job so u must do it and not complain so much. but i guess i enjoy making some new friends, talikng to new members, solving problems members face but most of all... learn new stuff and found some weakness in myself.

workshops made me learn that leaders are not easy. but like what i know.. no text book can tell u how to work. u just have to write the text book yourself. people tend to feel workshops are boring and so on... but it manage to grabe my attention away form my book as sometimes i feel that the things that they discuss in the workshops like the probles leaders face are so true but i cant solve it myself. but somehow the workshops cant give me an answer i wan. i guess i have to keep looking for them myself as i always do.

special people do appear at times people get together. you never know how kind of people or how evil the heart of another. but jus for the record, i have recive lots of kindness form the camp commettie and the participants.. i thought i will just walk in the camp and leave the camp un-notice like the foot prints on the beach being wash away by the waves... but i guess the real thing isn't like what i thought. i some how fine this phrase wonderful. Small act of kindness do make one happy. and this happiness really brighten 1 day. i hope i manage to do some kindness to people more than the kindness that i recive.

to the EB's that u see this site(which i wonder if there is any...) thanks for the experience and the wonderful caring of yours especially to the president, Chong Chi, vice president, Yi Sing, Adeline, Chua, Norman, Hasliza, Didi, Chee Hoe, Hui Ying, Norman, Jason, and the year 1's which i cant really remember ur names... thanks alot. u really enlighten my 2 day's and 2 nites there. i will not have know you so well if i didn join the election board. thanks for everything. and lets make this 1 more month more happening and keep the spirits alove!!!

Thanks for everything!!!

2007.. the new begining...

wow.. its been 1 while since i last blog here.. oh well.. didn have a chance to do it in sandakan.. back to Kk now.. enjoying the hetic life of a vice president of the election board commettie.. hehe.. nice to hear that blogger is available here.. hmm i wonder what did the taiwan earthquack did to the cables down there...

my holidays are wonderful n nice... thou some un-nice stuff happen.. which is quite sad in the sence but nuthing much i can do to help.. so hang in there cousin sis.. u will get use to it soon.. hehe.. other than that.. the best part.. food!!! i didn realise that penang food is so much cheaper than KK or sandakan. and of coz the taste is unbeatable.. hehe.. wonder when KK food will be like penang.. but half a year of Kk food wont make much difference also..

other than that.. spending time with my bro was enjoyable.. hehe going off to australia this 3-feb. leaving me n my parents behind... sniff sniff.. oh well... thats life.. going to miss him thou.. hehe..

this holz.. i even let out one of my largest worries to my two close frens.. thanks grace n tsen... u really help me clear up a lot... thou we only enjoy bout 90 minutes together.. but its still worth it.. i am proud to know u all.. hope things will get better soon.. really hope.. but i don't know weather i can make myself to do so... u know me..

now is the brand new year.. new stuff everywhere.. even the joey yap say's that the luck for the dragon will improve... and i really really hope it would!!! coz i really need it a lot!!! till then.. hope to visit this site soon..

p/s i did post up a pic today!! hehe..