changes

sigh... outdated is my name now.. haha.. seems that i am basically lost touch of the world of people out there.. busy taking care of myself and all myself.. this holiday got wack by a few unexpected news which i never had a hint it happen before till some idiot person tell me... which makes me.. well half feeling bad and the other.. speechless.. life now seems blur n gloomy.. not much vision ahead which makes making decision hard.. and by making a decision now might get a hard whack and everything goes back to square 1... i don't really like the position of life now.. but life goes on as usuall and time waits for no1....

trying to keep in touch is a very hard job.. is not like u can see everyone everyday... but then if u put the effort in to pull every1 togehter.. but will there any1 care?? will any1 knwo that u want to see them jus to keep every1 toghther and not let time swallow up the times we all had before and as if i never know u before?? its sad that in this short holiday i am in sdk didn manage to see the people i see... do the things we said we wanna do be4.. i guess its just hard to get every1 around... argh.. how i wish my both best frens(which i hope still is) is here... lots to scream..

tomorrow will be living to my hometown for a holiday which i was looking forward to do so for the past whole year.... didn know what got me that makes me miss my hometown this much.. never happen in my 16 years of natural years... mayb its just that the feeling of home and the feeling of being belong to makes the whole lot of difference... miss the food, miss my cousins, miss ny aunts and uncles, miss my grandparents, and a whole lots more... well time has change and life is short... just hope to cherish all every single minute there... 2 weeks is short.. but will provide a long enough memory to last for the whole year.... hope it works this way as i hope it would....

now that i realise.. i have change.. and i think i change in a numbers of places.. no more being the caring 1.. no more wanting to know other peoples stuff.... no more sharing those special moments with people around me... a good change?? maybe not.. maybe u can just say that i am now more self and not open.. mayb i am out spoken but in the inner me... there are lots more to shout, scream, share, etc. etc.. jus that i realise when some1 jus tell me a huge news or a big secret, i dont care and i dont want to know!! i even nearly curse that person for telling me the secret... i dont know what happen but i just dont want to know... wasn't the last me as far as i can remember... but who cares?? i guess the answer no1... well... its jus me in the huge gigantic world of people.... till then....

sigh.. holidays started n o coz.. when holz come.. the boredom comes as well.. rotting pretty well back at home.. painted 50% of the house and thats all i did this holz.. SIGH SOMETHING IS FREAKING WRONG WITH ME HERE!!!

anyway wanted very much to meet both of my best friends.. which is both also not in reachiign distance... sad case.. anyway a call will do.. haha.. lots to share.. lots to talk lots to ask and lots to answer... somehow.. not really missing KK much now.. mayb KK has given me a 'not-so-nice' impresion.. should hav gone further.. nobody there for me to miss... funny.. spend the whole year there and no big impression made... i wonder weather the same feeling of going away next year will be there when i leave KK when i graduate next year... wonder i want that feeling..

holz sucks in the sense that lots of stuff went wrong. got some big news.. got stuff i didn wan to hear, got hear sound i didn wan to listen.. sad.. bad year for me thou.. lots of plans need to be done plan-b way and never plan-a. which means most of my plans never work. sigh. mayb i need to change planing skills..

usually this year of the time.. i will be very free... no worries.. rotting away with my rust collection and my mushroom plantation. this year.. i need to be ready to answer questions like.. "wha.. where r u going next year??" or "what u want to study" or statements like "wha.. study medicine arr?? very good arr.. where u want to go?? go Aus or america?? there good.. here good.. this good... that good....

now i dont really have the feeling to blog much now. just lost the blogging touch.. nah.. jus that didn want to share so much info now.. not to those out there that make me mad.. dislike u.. but i guess.. let time heal the prob... sigh...

sweating at 20000 feet

holz started.. haha. now back to the nature city where home is situated.. well this time comming back form the air was quite a new experience. being a 1st timmer sitting the new company FAX (fly asian xpress) haha.. sub-company of the 'now everyone can fly' company. it begun from the ride to the 2nd terminal airport from my hse... the entrance was quite supprising... a wooden bridge connecting the main terminal to the main road.. with lots of people waiting there.. quite squezzy thou...

now to the check in.. i was bout 2 hours early and went to the check in counter. well, not to bad.. simple n fast n easy, for me.. was a good sign.. hmmm.. not like what reported in newspapers.. slow services, delays, unfriendly staffs.. looks like they are wrong.. to the check in.. security was lacking... hmmm.. the police officer didn bother to check me thou the metal detector is buzzing away.. should hav brought a bomb with me.. ahahaha.

the waiting room was quite plesent.. cold n empty.. i sat right infront of a TV and begun my 2 hour long wait.. enjoying the view of people around really intrest me... saw a batch of men waiting for their ride on a helicopter, saw Air asia's people working... some of them really looks good.. haha.. thou wearing only red t-shirts... as for the passengers... welll.. not very nice bout them.. some of them really looks un-educated.. never bother to read instructions or the notice boards..

i really wonder weather they understand what is parents with children, and elderly or handicaps.. once the gate open.. every1 rush foward as if there is a huge mega sale on the plane.. lucky for the staff which prepare 2 gates... hmm.. wonder they should put a "lets be educated people" on the notice board..

ground staff in red was friendly, nice and approachable.. well.. i think is better than the Mas.. i even got a compliment for looking young.. haha.. (dat was because they think i am under 18 n wanted to look at my IC..) so well done...

after 2 hours.. well.. board the plane.. its a boeing 737-200.. delay for about 25 minutes.. once up the plane.. i suddently realise the footspace seems to be reduce.. Man.. it was hard to move my feet!! due to 20 late passangers, the temperature of the plane seems increasing and every1 started to fan themselves with the menu in the front pocket.. the reason?? .. here is part of the announcement from the pilot..

".....the air-cond now is in medium. we can't switch it to high due to some techical problem..."


i was wondering what will be next?? crying kids? or some1 pulling out a cellphone and start messenging some1... hmmm.. anyway non of them happen other than sweating like in a sauna
.. never sweat that much in a plane be4.. lucky the flight is only bout 45 minutes..


once landed.. a familiar look appear in the window.. "SANDAKAN" phew.. lucky the plane didn land into somewhere else.. hehe.. waited for my overpack polo bag and walk out of the door.. ahh... nice fresh air of sandakan.. standing right in front of me.. a lady in red with sun glasses.. my mum....