Sunday, November 30, 2008

Houseflies~

as spring arrives and temperature hits above 27 degrees, its interesting that there are amazingly plenty of housefly flying around in adeaide. and interestingly as well, these houseflies are just like thermometers.. if the temperature is below 25 degrees, you wont even see one of them around and if temperature increases, the hotter it goes, the more housefly there are. these houseflies are basically irritating, stupid and erm... slow. nevertheless, they are all really irritating if they keep flying around you. EVEN when you get a nice shower and you smell like a garden of flowers they will still fly to you.

looking at the number of housefly around, you will notice men and women practicing all kinds of methods to swap them away... below are the list that kinda exist

Thousand Arms Buddha Housefly Shield
Although there are only 2 arms in every human, if there are a large number of housefly this method is highly recommended. by moving your arms randomly in a very fast motion, in all directions, you can almost swap all the houseflies away into your surroundings. not only houseflies, all other movable living organisms especially humans will also move away in fear of this highly specialize martial art. this thousand arms buddha housefly shield also can be use if you only have one arm that is free. just move the free arm twice as fast and twice as random to have the same effect.

Tai Chi Housefly Kung-fu
a slow and gracious yet lethal to housefly move which usually guarantee peace from houseflies. usually most effective if there is only one housefly around. by moving your hand gracefully and slowly near to the housefly and with a sudden increase speed and power, whack the housefly away. this usually causes the housefly to lose the flight path and hit to something solid and fall to the floor. effective when you are sitting in a fix position and by hitting the housefly to the near by wall or table, it will for sure not disturb you for the 2nd time. Or, if you have mastered this kung fu, you can aim the housefly at someone near by and hit it across the room into another person's face. practice needed for aim and accuracy.

The Venous Fly Trap.
by the name, its quite similar to the carnivorous plant where a trap is laid to trap/kill the housefly. so what kind of trap can be laid?? well, these trap (like the venous fly trap) must have a hinge that allow 2 surfaces to contact in the middle. my recommendation is a book.. a think hard cover book. open the book at about middle... and hold it right in front of you with a hand on each side of the cover.. once a housefly flies over the page.... SNAP~ and you will have a dead housefly with you in that page. *warning* flatten houseflies produce lots of 'juices' so.. beware. recommended that you have lots of patients and a moderate number of houseflies around. library books are recomended (since its not your book anyway =x)

Chemical Warfare
this method is more of a preventative measure than to kill itself. basically we will be using chemicals to prevent houseflies to get around us. and we are going to use chemicals that could be easily bought over the counter. Insect repellents have been proven functional in preventing house flies from attaching on your clothes and skin. just spray some on to the clothes or apply them to the skin and you could walk freely without being bothered by those flies. the good side is, others wont think you are crazy waving your hands around the street, but, on the other side, if you are going to a date, or an important meeting, try not to use this method as it also carries a strong insect repellent smell along. and depending on the type n brand you use, usually it last about 2 to 3 hours depending on conditions. recommended right before going out of the house on a very warm day.

The Blow Fish Method.
this method is recommended when you have your hands full. as houseflies are small animals, they are easily being blown away by a small amount of air. this method allows you to remove the housefly quite easily. if you see a housefly flying around, and land on your nose, shape your lips and blow a short and strong gust of air towards it. this can also be if the housefly landed on other parts of the body (hands, lips, maybe forehead) or also on places like your notes and your coffee mug. just aim and blow towards the housefly and the housefly will be gone~ if you are good, you can also blow the housefly off course mid air *training needed*. recommended for a small amount of housefly and only for people with a large lung capacity. not recommend for those with respiratory disorders.

there are a few more not so popular methods around, but strongly recomended these 5 methods above.. have fun trying =)

disclaimer note: writer will not be responsible for any injuries/accidents/anything-bad-happen to users of the methods describe above.

p/s: no houseflies are harm in the production of this post.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didn't understand the concluding part of your article, could you please explain it more?

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)