in loving memories.

its already been a very long while since the last time we had a good conversation, or had a meal together, or even walk around together. its been a very, very long while you drove me around, or cook a meal. its already more than i year since i last saw you, last spoke to you, and last hear you speak.

you are always a good cook. every dish coming out of your kitchen is one of the few best food i ever had. if i'm not wrong, you taught us how to make our 1st layer cake, how to make kaya, and many more. that was many many years ago. other than that, your 'bread-banana' thing.. can't find a substitute to it. i have always had a good time in your kitchen trying to help you out and having fun with all your kitchen equipments.. every year when i get back, i will always be looking forward to your cooked meals.

i miss the times i take a ride in your red little car, with my brother and my cousins. you always try to entertain us by calling us to count stuff on the way... like how many red cars, or flower pots along the road and all. i remembered we all go excited and start counting.. and we happily tell you how many we got at the end of trip.. and also you telling us about the place. u like to take us to eat the best food around the place, hunting down the meat ball noodles, best mee goreng stall and many more all over the island. u also took us to markets to get your groceries.. and also shop at supermarkets, telling us which brand to get, and which not to.

i remember every year, you get my brother's and my measurements, and every end of the year, we will have new PJ's, and they comes in sets!!! you always make them bigger so that i could grow into it. till now, i still have them with me. i think its almost 10 years now. i even brought 2 of them over to adelaide with me. not only that, i still remember you made my brother and i a pillow and a bolster each, we use to 'fight' with them a lot, till they went soft... i think the pillow is still at home. i managed to save it from being thrown away... i still remember the times, i hover around you and your sewing machine, watching you turn cloth in to clothes. i remember when ever i had some missing buttons or broken zip, you could always fix them. i remember you putting all the spare buttons in the film container in your sewing table. and i love pouring them out and have a look. i remembered u also taught us how to sew, with needle and thread. and also u always challenge us to put the thread into the needle. at times i remembered u get one of us, to put the thread into your sewing machine's needle as you couldn't see properly.

i remember when ever you hear one of us is sick, or unwell, you will tell us what to do. what medications to take. and i'm pretty sure, you will boil good soup for us. i remembered u made one of the best porridge with chicken and vegetables. i could remember my brother asking my mum why can't he get the same nice porridge when he is sick while grandma isn't there. you will get herbs to boil soup to help us 'cool' down. you also teach us on what the types of herbs which are good for the appropriate body parts. and i remembered u always get pre-pack herbs for us to bring back to be boiled into soup. when i was young, i almost believe that you could cure all kinds of sickness. and also your, 'magic oil'. the herbal 'oil' that could cure almost anything, from cuts, burns, to tummy ache. i always love the smell of that 'oil'. yet, when you are sick, i haven't been doing anything much.

i remember the days i spend at your house, they are the earliest mornings that i could automatically wake up extremely early without help. and i will spend the mornings watching video tapes in the living room. you will always make me drink a cup of water the 1st thing after i wake up. i remember once you gave me an extremely bitter drink, and you told me its something i love to drink. what a shock u gave me that morning!! u taught me to drink the mixture of teh and kopi O mix, eating cream cracker with butter, jam, or condense milk. i really like the house you have in mutiara court. i always miss the smell there. i am always excited to go to your house. the times my brother and i race to your door, climb up the metal screen door to press the doorbell numerous times and shout for your name on top of our lungs.. and you will answer... "coming!!!" we always do that even our mum or someone else have the keys to your house for the fun on it.

your house has many memories in me. the times i play hide and seek with my cousins, jump around the bed with my brother, made a 'mattress-fort' with all the mattress and pillows. the times where almost the whole family, aunts, uncles and cousins pack together and sleep in the living room on the floor and many many more. i remembered that in your house, i found the love of jigsaw puzzles, and in your house, is where my brother and i completed our 1st 1000 pieces jigsaw puzzle. then you encourage us to frame the picture up. in your house too, you, my brother, and i and sometimes cousins, join together to watch series, where you will explain to us whats happening in the drama.

every chinese new year, i will be expecting a big parcel send by you with all the new year goodies in it. chinese love letters, kuih bangkit, almond cookies, and many more. its sometimes hard to imagine how you could send so many things from the the west end of the country to the east end of the country. your chinese new year goodies always makes me feel special as there isn't other houses having the same new year goodies as us. and every birthday, u will give us a red packet, and also call us to wish us 'happy birthday'. thou i wasn't very appreciative when i was younger, i wish to hear that this year... but that most probably now only a wish. although throughout my childhood, i only visit you about 3 weeks every year, my growth is always being updated to you from my mum from your phone calls. i still remember, you will call quite frequently, almost once every month without fail.

recent years, you haven't been able to do much of those already. few days ago, you left us, and today, you officially left the physical world. its sad that i couldn't be there one last time, and i always thought i could see u again next year. yet, even thou i'm far and away, i'm sure you will always be around. i know you are in a better place now. i will go back and visit you for sure. i hope you are better there. you have gave me endless memories and for sure, you will be always remembered. in loving memories to my dearest porpor...