faces of disguise

"wenqi, can you help me??"
"huh?? what happen??"

a call in the morning, breaking the silence of my room, waking me up and made me thinking why are you calling? hearing the voice on the other end answered my 1st question. i went to your aid, but with a mind full of questions, but also knowing its not a good time to ask. your sound is different from the normal you, serious and nervous and hearing that, i left my lame jokes aside. i know this is serious and its not funny. meeting you up, tells me that you are at the edge of breaking down. and you did.

"hey, what do u think of me??"
i stated my answer
"hah, that's not me... this is the real me."

everyday, putting a strong look for the world to see, masking all ones problems, and only showing the happy and joyfull look for the world to see is part of human nature or at least for some. smiling at friends, laughing like they are the happiest people in the world and hiding well all the sorrows behind. does this makes one feel better?? or just makes one look stronger?? or they just want to keep their sorrows lock away deep inside and be happy for the few moments in life??

hiding these emotions are no easy task, i myself does it. everyone does it. hiding it from others and keeping it to myself just because there is too many questions ask when i share them. shadowing your troubles with your cheerful face and happy looks, that the world accept u are a happy and care free person, but, somehow, someday, you will be burden by these troubles that you crackdown. sometimes alone, or sometimes with someone that cares about you, but not given the chance before. revealing your true self to the world, shock and blank, the world react. how are we suppose to accept this? is being around when in need is enough??

"i don't know why when in front of you guys, my smile will automatically come out"
"well, i can see that.. people don't usually show their weak side out.."
"of course, we wont want to look weak to others..."

masking your sorrows from the world, putting a happy face when ever the world greets you sure must be a tired job. i myself tried before. behind all the laughter and joy, lies the problems and negative thoughts that you think no one could help you. you think that its better to keep the problems to yourself. If you ask, who wants to show their weakest side for the world to judge?? i will not be the ones that raise my hand for that question.

while the world judge the weak and look up to the strong, i still believe that help is everywhere and all you need to do is ask. i do not want to be a fair-weather friend where only laugh about with jokes and during happy times. all i ask for is to be a someone that could help you when the time needs. all you need to do is say you need help. thou i sense u need help, but without you opening up, there is no way the world could help you there. i am no psychic after all, and i don't do mind reading either.

the sound of the phone beeping, pointing out a message is receive. i saw that your matter is settled at the time being. i am glad.