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"ei how to spell cylinder arr?? start with 's' kah??"
"c-y-l-i-n-d-e-r"

this will be the normal conversations that happens in school with me the absent minded guy asking for simple spellings with the person next to me. not going to brag on that more.

it seems that a long time ago that i talk about my friends. especially those that i know since secondary school. lately i have been sms-ing them a lot especially the one in miri. as found out that most of them also shares the same boat as me. busy with exams, test, etc. etc. but still manage to pull through everything. but like always they are there to give support, encouragement, and the inner strength to help me pull through most of the things.

since i step foot in KK, lots of different people i meet. many of them i call friends. smaller groups i call close friends and a tiny group i call 'people-i-know'. they don't need to know where they stand, which group they are in, or what so ever. and from them i learn more and more about life here away from home. they are the ones that put spices into the life, sometimes to hot, sometimes to tasteless but usually just right. they use to do things out of expected, sending messages that u didn't expect, wishing the best when you need support and of course standing next to you when you need them. at the end of the day, they are the one's that put the smile on your face. weather you like it or not, you will still smile. a simple hello from a person that never talk to you which sit at the other very far end of the class can brighten one's day. afterall they care for you weather you know it or not. thats the wonders of knowing them.

sadly there are people that i find it hard to talk with. i don't blame no one, maybe is me. but its always the case that we can't make the whole world to like us and also us to like them. 100 people, i consider a great achievement if you know at least 15 of them well. i myself can't or i should say didn't to manage to do so now. people put blame on the time, put blame on the social barriers, but never on themselves for not talking to others.

one example here i can give is the shooting in Virginia tech. jus now i read an article in TIME magazine about the shoot out. for me is not the society abandoning the shooter, is the shooter abandoning himself, blaming others doing for so and kill innocents that has nothing to do with him. this is totally STUPID. why blame others when you never give chance to let people to know you. after reading the article, i am sure most of us will have a mix feeling on the incident.

like what i always believe, knowing someone is like opening a lock, and only a correct key will open it. and there is no such thing as a skeleton key in this sense. and the only way to open the lock is to find the correct key.

an evil friend is more dangerous than a wild beast;

a wild beast will hurt your body but an evil friend will harm your mind

buddha

p/s : weather today is some how like my mood... hmm... *sigh*

parents point of view to a son:

my son is in KK now studying his A-levels. i wonder what is he doing now?? is he studying hard?? or wasting his precious time there?? I wonder if he is free now?? can i call him now?? better not. later i might disturb him. hmmm.. did he eat his breakfast?? as far as i know, he said he ate oats for breakfast. will that be enough?? of he will get hungry later.. had he ate lunch?? or he will skip it?? this is bad for his health.. does he knows that?? he should have. he is getting thin every time he got home. is he eating less and less everyday?? or he don't have enough pocket money to spend?? always i ask he will say enough.. really enough or he is just reducing my worries.

i wonder what does he do in his free time there. does he study?? or go out with his friends?? will he mix with the wrong company?? is he smoking?? doing drugs?? no no no no no.. never.. i know he won't do that. i have brought him up well. he knows how to think and act. So what does he do?? most probability he will just sleep.. haha.. my son.. or maybe watch tv... hehe.. or maybe study?? hmm.. maybe also text messaging his friends. oh no.. maybe he is dating someone now... haiyo.. waste money.. he and his brother really cannot compare.

hmm.. i will call him tonight. anything to tell him?? oh.. tell him his aunt and uncle from US is coming over.. tell him also there is a camp in my school. tell him about the car hitting the pole. oh ya..must tell him to look out for uni's through the Internet. but his answers are always short... always a one word respond.. sigh.. will he tell me about his school?? hmm.. i don't think so... he never say much about his life there unless ask.. don't know why..

sigh.. i wonder weather he know i am worried about him here. he seems to be person lack of planing and takes things easily. does he knows that the world out there is more harder than he thinks?? does he knows that money don;t come in easily?? does he knows that i love him very much?? does he knows that i am here no matter what happens to help him??

he always makes me wonder what is he doing there?? the house seems quiet without him. but i know he will be working hard there. i can't say but i just know...

love you!!

ARGH!!!!.....

ARGH!!!!!! sigh... what a bad timming...
why am i always stuck in between two groups of humans!!!!! why? Why? WHY!!!!!!
I HATE THIS TYPE OF DECISION MAKING STUFF!!!! I DUN WAN TO BE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE!!! CAN'T THINGS COME ONE BY ONE AND NOT ALL TOGETHER AT ONCE!!! WHY!! WHY!! WHY!!!!!
i think i just made a number of people angry n dissapointed at me again!!! whats worst is they are all my old friends.. why always me?? why am i always the one that always crash plans... i dislike myself for this!!!! WHY!!!! is not the 1st time.. i have made people dissapointed with me for some number of times already... is it because i don't know how to say NO?? ARGH!!!!.. is not i dun want to say NO.. is I CAN'T SAY NO!!!!! WHY ALWAYS MAKE ME DO THIS!!!! sigh............

education???

in 3 days time trials exams will begin.. just that when everyone is stress up, people tend to change from good to bad, funny to serious, normal to weired, and many many more.. my body has been aching lately due to unknown reasons.. i really really wish i have an i-desire at home now.. it will be wonderful.. haha

recently my friend sent me a short message through the short-message-system. Surprising that she said : "i think i failed my physics... what should i do.. really feel like crying.."
i was stunned.. she never fail physics before, i mean she LOVE physics.. anyway.. so as a friend that always supported her.. i told her that its ok to fail n stuff.. then her second message came in.. part of it which shock me very much : "she(my friend's mum) said i(my friend) disgraced ppl who are proud of me.. i feel ashamed"

that was harsh... way too harsh to tell a daughter that you should not fail your test. after all its just the FIRST TIME that she fail her test.. for me.. its a direct knock out of self confidence in life and as a daugther(or son) its going to hurt so much that they will lost some if not most of their self confidence with that kind of words(lucky my parents are not this kind or a better say i hope they are not this kind). i don't know whether i can comment on this issue but still why some people today think that passing exams can secure a good living tomorrow?? maybe that's how they express their care towards children about the importance of education. But to that extend??that's hard. i know i cannot say i know how parents feel as i am not one yet. but i still don't agree on how society deal's with this today.

do education plays a vital role in the future?? can we live without education?? personally i say education is important to improve one's state of living and reach success of life. but its not that vital in the wild society we are in. self confidence, brave to venture, hardworking, and good moral values should be enough to take us further to another step. maybe is hard but if there is a will there is away. but sadly society today thinks that education as in scoring straight A's or passing exams year after year and you will be educated. haha.. how i wish life is so simple.

as for me now.. i say i am stuck with education to go after my ambitions and my dreams. to be what i want to be means i have to get a good foundation in my studies. So.. for me studying is important.. hehe.. after all who today will want a husband that is not educated rite?? hahaha.. as for now.. pray hard study smart everyone. all the best in your trials.

p/s: I are not perfect

april fool...

april fool just past... i my one was bored... haha.. reading the green book.. i suspect someone put sleeping powder between the pages.... once i open it.. i straight hit the table with my eyes close.. sigh.. maybe that was an april fool joke from someone... sigh... happy april fool everyone!!!